Confidence is not about becoming the loudest person in the room. It is much more about being able to trust yourself, tolerate mistakes, express what you need and take up an appropriate amount of space in your own life.
Low confidence can show up in different ways
- Second-guessing yourself or needing reassurance
- A strong inner critic
- Avoiding opportunities because you expect to fail
- Difficulty saying no or setting boundaries
- Feeling responsible for keeping everybody else happy
- Comparing yourself unfavourably with other people
Assertiveness without aggression
Assertiveness means being able to communicate your thoughts, feelings, needs and boundaries while recognising that other people have rights too. It is a skill that can be learned, particularly when early experiences have taught you that disagreement, asking or saying no is unsafe.
How we might work
We can explore where your current view of yourself came from, challenge patterns that keep it going and practise new ways of responding. Depending on the problem, focused work can also help reduce the automatic emotional reactions that make confidence difficult in particular situations.